I signed up in late 2022 to donate a kidney to what I’d refer to now as an old dear friend but that’s not the entirety of it. He actually was my high school sweetheart and my ex husband. We never had children together but after 5 years total of being together we went our separate ways but every now and then over the years we’d looked each other up and touched base. Five years together doesn’t seem like much but I look at it like we grew up together. Those formative teenage years have a big impact on your life.
We reconnected again when he called me after his brother had passed away. He told me then that his kidneys were failing due to a genetic condition and he’d soon have to start on dialysis. Sometime after that he had put a link and a “call for help” on his Facebook page. I was moved but I’m not going to lie… I had to pray about it for sometime before I actually signed up. I had to take so many things into consideration.
I eventually made up my mind and decided to let God guide the way so, I signed up and went to take the initial tests ordered by the transplant center. (Just FYI you can do that and they don’t even tell the potential recipient) A couple of days later I got a phone call and they informed me that I was a blood and tissue match for him. Let me tell you that’s pretty rare! At that point I’m thinking wow this must be a God deal.
There were more tests and more tests. Then I flew out to California from Texas to go to the transplant center for more testing. Which was also fun as I had not actually laid eyes on my ex in over 30 years! The transplant center is thorough to say the least, I had a CTscan, Xrays, EKG, and they took 15 vials of blood. I got the lab results and couldn’t believe the amount of tests, it’s really amazing. All of them came back great.
After I got back to Texas they still wanted me to have a few more tests and we ran into some issues because of my being out of state of the logistics of how his insurance would cover those things. Finally I completed the very last test they asked for and the very last “task” I quit smoking. Giving up cigarettes seemed like a bigger ask to me than the kidney… not joking!
I finally got the answer just a couple of weeks ago that the surgeon made the final call that I could not be a donor. Here’s the kicker… the reason was that I had skin cancer 24 years ago. Well that’s fun because I clearly stated that on my original application they received before I even took the very first blood test.
UGH!!! The frustration! All I have went through, the being poked and prodded, the sharing all my personal medical history, the time I have taken out off of work and out of my own life, and the roller coaster ride that this has been. And I can’t express enough how much I hated to make the phone call and tell my ex that I couldn’t do this for him.
He goes to dialysis 4 times a week on top of working a full time job and I can’t imagine how the news that I couldn’t be a donor knocked the wind out of his sails. Especially because just a week before the final decision the transplant center had been talking to me about taking tour of the hospital and meeting the surgical team in the weeks to come. I had shared that information with him and we were both very excited. It’s heartbreaking to say the least. I just have to remind myself that I did my very best and that I put my faith in God about this whole thing.
I have to tell you though with all that I went through I can honestly say I would do it all over again!
Consider being a kidney donor! Check out https://www.kidney.org/transplantation/how-to-donate
I also urge you to check that box on your drivers license to be a donor. From what I understand is that there are over 100,000 people waiting on lists to receive a kidney.
Think of the overall impact… you’d be saving a life and someone who may be important to so many other people!
Please feel free to leave a comment with any of your own kidney donation stories or a link if you are wanting people to sign up for you or someone you love.
